**Interview -- But of Course**

MH: Regarding our next guest...this atmosphere, as you can see, there are skulls, a chandelier -

Ishibashi: and leopard print.

MH: Yes, leopard print. Leopard print, handkercheifs, and a floor rug. Also, behind us, there are candles and skulls...and other things you may not normally see on Utaban...This week's gues is none other than...Ah!

Ishibashi: Piano?

*soft piano music is playing...sounds like a perfume commercial piano song.*

MH: This piano music...what's this sound?

*Ishibashi looks over to a circular window, and there's Gackt playing a beautiful song on the piano*

MH: It couldn't be...

Ishibashi: The Mad Aristocrat. The Pork Belly Aristocrat is back!

MH: Mr. Pork Belly! "Pork Belley"s playing the piano! He's wonderful, so wonderful. He's really into his music, but we do need to talk with him. Well, let's introduce our guest who got such a big response last time he was on. Allow me to introduce in his second appearance, Gackt-san! Come on out here!!!

*Gackt walks out and the thing goes back to clips of Gackt's first Utaban interview*

MH: Which do you go to most often?

Gackt: Maru Sho [Recently went bankrupt. Really cheap and many chain stores.]

MH: Wait a sec...Gackt, man, Marusho and you don't fit together.

*cut to another old scene*

Gackt: ...Well, I often make curry and other things like that. Rather than the meat lined up in the front, I like to search for the meat they hide in the back. They have those doors in the back like this...*hands look like flippy doors*

Ishibashi: You push them and they go...*hands do flippy doors opening/closing quickly*

Gackt: I slam them open and ask: "Is the meat supervisor here?"

MH: So, you call the meat supervisor and...

Gackt: "The hidden meat"

Ishibashi: Is there such a thing?

Gackt: *knowingly* There is at the supermarket.

MH: What kind of meat?

Gackt: Like Pork Belly Blocks. I go to the back and I say, "The Pork Belly Blocks...get them for me." At first, they won't take them out to me, so I say, "No, they're back there. I know they are."

MH: "I know they are"!?

Ishibashi: You know everything about Marusho...

Gackt: "Yes, I know they are." and then, he says, "Alright then."

*back to current interview*

MH: Even this cup here is a skull. It's for your exclusive usage, Gacchan.

Gackt: *looks at it, awed* Wow...nice.

MH: How's the reaction been since you were on here last?

Gackt: Well...you know how I go shopping?

MH: AH! That stuff about Marusho!

Gackt: *silence, pause* I can't go anymore.

Ishibashi: Even though you know everything about Marusho

. Gackt: When I go there, they go *points at imaginary self* "Ah! Pork Belly!". "Hey, I'm not Pork Belly." I was very shocked.

MH: So, you can't go to Marusho anymore?

Gackt: No matter where I go, it's *fake whispering* "Pork Belly. Pork Belly. Pork Belly."

MH: Sorry about that. It's because of that odd conversation.

Gackt: *silence --> whispers* ..."Pork Belly"

MH: But haven't you found some new place to get Pork Belly?

Gackt: I've gone to dozens of other stores, but no matter where I go, when I walk into the back, they point and go "Ah! Pork Belly!" They're cautious of me now.

Ishibashi: They know you're a meat conoiseur...so, they have the good meat ready for you, don't they?

Gackt: They tell me, "There's good stuff in the front."

Ishibashi: "There's good stuff int he front"!?

Gackt: "Don't come back here! Don't think you can come back here just because you're a celebrity."

Ishibashi: Gackt against the strict workers.

v Gackt: It's a battle.

Ishibashi: A battle!

Gackt: Next time, I think I'll just go straight to the wholesaler.

MH: Directly?

Gackt: "Wholesale Store" was written on this building and I thought, "That's the place."

Ishibashi: If the wholesaler doesn't know about you. When if they won't sell to you?

Gackt: *silence*

Gackt: What you're doing now, should I have said something humorous in reply?

MH: No, no. It's ok to just have a regular talk here, Gackt. I wasn't trying to get a laugh out of you or anything like that. We'll try not to call you "Pork Belly" anymore.

Gackt: I guess I'll wear a disguise.

MH: What kind of disguise would you wear?

Gackt: Sunglasses. [note: He's WEARING sunglasses right now.]

Ishibashi: Ah, sunglasses.

Gackt: Different colored sunglasses.

Ishibashi: Different colored sunglasses.

MH: What color would you wear to go to the Wholesale Store?

Gackt: Blue or...

Ishibashi: BLUE!

Gackt: So, you'll go to the wholesale store with blue sunglasses?

Gackt: No good?

MH: *does a face fault. then, giving the thumbs up* You'll be fine.

Ishibashi: What about clothes?

MH: In these clothes, you won't get far. You stand out a little too much... *Gackt's wearing a tight, dark red shirt with long, black, shimmery sleeves. He also has on tight black leather pants and his normal jewelry.*

Gackt: Then, how about a suit?

Ishibashi: A suit!? With blue sunglasses?!?

Gackt: Ok, then, I'll bring an atache case too.

Ishibashi: An atache case?

MH: An atache case really doesn't have anything to do with it. If you wear the suit, what's the point of the case?

Gackt: Don't you think it's a little buisinessman-like?

MH: Ok, next up, is the calligraphy corner, which was so popular the last time you were on.

Ishibashi: Calligraphy time...

MH: First up, when you think of shopping...for you, Gackt, what word best describes shopping? *Gackt holds up a white cardboard with a word on it* Cut?

Gackt: Well, when I say "cut"...I mean "cut prices".

MH: Gackt, can you bargain down prices?

Gackt: *matter-of-factly* But of course.

*audience laughs...Gackt said "but of course" so seriously, as if it was obvious. Gackt, noticing the audiences reaction laughs questioningly.*

Gackt: Huh? Is there something wrong with that? Bargaining?

Ishibashi: Bargaining...

Gackt: Well, I start with negotiations.

Ishibashi: For instance, there's a 3000 yen piece of meat. Well, 3000 yen for a hundred grams. Altogether, 30,000 yen. How low can you get that?

Gackt: I'd start with half price.

Ishibashi: 15,000 yen.

MH: That's pretty difficult, isn't it?

Ishibashi: *pretending to be a meat vendor. his voice is extremely rough* "Whatcha talking about, sir, 1500 yen for 100 grams!?"

Gackt: Ok, how about 2,000 yen?

Ishibashi: ...

Gackt: We'll settle for the middle ground and call it 1750 yen.

Ishibashi: "That ain't the middle ground, sir! ...Alright, ya got me. 1,750."

Gackt: That, of course, includes tax.

Ishibashi: "Included!? That's gonna hurt my business! That's about 1500 yen then..."

Gackt: *matter-of-factly* But of course.

MH: Next up, what is important for a man?

Gackt:*Gackt writes down a word on a cardboard* The waist area.

MH: The waist area? What do you mean? What about it?

*Gackt flips the cardboard sideways, so it reads "good". "The waist area" turned sideways looks like "good".*

Gackt: It's like, "good", eh?

MH: *holding the board* It's like "good"...It doesn't really matter, does it? What do you mean by "the waist area"?

Gackt: Well, when I train... Basically, I don't like to waste time actually training. So, when I take a shower or a bath..

MH: How do you take a shower?

Gackt: How do you all wash your hair?

MH: I basically sit down and like this. *sits down and makes scrubbing hair motions*

Gackt: No good.

MH: No good?

Gackt: How you take a shower, Ishibashi?

Ishibashi: Well, I sit down and...*does same thing MH did*

Gackt: No good. That can hurt your waist.

MH: Can it hurt your waist?

Ishibashi: Which way is best to keep from...

Gackt: First, stand with your back to the shower.

*Ishibashi stands up with his back to an imaginary shower*

Gackt: About two paces in front of it.

Ishibashi: *takes two paces forward* Out of the spray, right?

Gackt: Yes. Put your hands on your hips...*Ishibashi obeys* Now, lean back.

MH: You're kidding, aren't you? You're laughing! Something isn't right about this!

Gackt: *smiling* Pull your chin in, please.

Ishibashi: Pull in my chin? The shower's over here, right?

Gackt: This is something I discovered watching The Matrix. *getting up to demonstrate*

MH:THE MATRIX!? I'll be the shower...right here.

*MH uses hand as a showerhead*

Gackt: Like this. *Gackt leans far back. He's practically parellel with the floor. It looks exactly like in The Matrix when Keanu Reeves is dodging the bullets.*

MH: WAH! Doesn't that hurt?

Gackt: I'm fine. You could set a teaset on me in that position, no problem.

MH: Say it again. Here's the shower. You go two paces in front of it...

Gackt: Go like this...

MH: and...1 - 2 - 3. *Gackt leans back again* Cool!

Ishibashi: Isn't it cool? Really? No matter how I look at it, it looks like it hurts your eyes. *leans back, trying to do what Gackt did*

Gackt: Pull in your chin, please.

Ishibashi: Ah, my chin.

MH: The neck muscles are also worked?

Gackt: Yes, and while you do that, move your belly. *grabs Ishibashi by the hips and moves his belly forward and backward*

Ishibashi: Just taking a shower makes a really good training.

MH: So, this is how you use your waist.

Gackt: But of course.

MH: Anything else?

Gackt: When I brush my teeth or dry my hair...I stay in that position.

MH: When you brush your teeth, doesn't it go up your nose?

Gackt: Well...occasionally, I space out...and brush my teeth with Men's Biore (facial cleanser).

Ishibashi: Only you, Gackt...

MH: Gackt, do you have sexual play with the ladies?

Gackt: I love it.

MH: Ah! So, you do like it then?

Gackt: Sexual play, right?

MH: Yeah.

Gackt: I love sexual play.

MH: The waist area plays a big role in that, doesn't it?

Gackt: It's very important.

MH: How often do you do it? Once every two days? Once every three days?

Gackt: I'm...not the type to do it everyday. I leave intervals...and store it up.

MH: What do you mean by store it up?

Gackt: I hate when it's over in one or two hours...So, if I store it up, I can go about 8 hours straight.

Ishibashi: Like a snake. A snake goes 24 hours.

Gackt: Is that so?

MH: 8 hours, eh? What are you doint for 8 hours?

Gackt: Sexual play.

MH: Straight?

Ishibashi: Without eating?

Gackt: No good?

MH: Are you holding each other straight for 8 hours or what?

Gackt: Well, of course...there are many positions to go through.

MH: Like this one? *does the Matrix pose*

Gackt: Something... close to that. *grins*

MH: Continuing...What are you not embarassed about showing to others? *Gackt writes out something and holds it up* Here it is!

Ishibashi: Naked, huh?

MH: So, you're pretty confident in your physique?

Gackt: I wouldn't say confident...more like it's impossible to hide it.

MH: Fully naked?

Gackt: Basically, at the hotel...before and during the tour, I'm always naked in my room.

MH: Always? What about the staff?

Ishibashi: What about when room service comes?

Gackt: Well, it IS my room...

Ishibashi: Well, at the hotel, once you get the key, it is your room...

MH: Ding Dong. "Room Service here." So, you slip into some pants or put on a robe...?

Gackt: Well, firstly, I won't wear underwear...cause it is MY room.

Ishibashi: So, you just get the door as you are?

MH: And Gackt, your GA*KU*TO is right there for all to see? You don't mind...showing them your GA*KU*TO at all?

Gackt: You mean Junior?

MH: You really don't ming Gackt Junior being...

Gackt: I'm really not embarassed about people seeing.

MH: You're not afraid they'll think - "Ah! Junior is really a junior, huh!?"

Gackt: Well, I'm a Magnum.

*Gackt starts cracking up. He's holding his hand over his mouth, trying really hard not to laugh*

MH: A Magnum, eh? WOW! You're serious right now? *to audience* He's acting a little funny.

Gackt: *still trying really hard not to laugh* It's just...I didn't mean to say it...on national television.